Reliving My Nursing Journey

Eat. Sleep. Pray. SAVE LIVES.

Guess what I am holding? >:P
OB Rotation as a Nurse Intern

REBLOGGED:

I don't know why I took up nursing when in fact I never liked it. Nursing was out of my mind when I was still in high school. It was my mom and dad who suggested for me to took this up because way back 2005, Nursing here in the Philippines was a booming course for the fact that many countries in abroad offered job openings in Nursing. Some of my batchmates in high school decided to enroll in this course and people who already have their career have taken up this course as their second course (for those who had finished another career other than nursing). Therefore, at that time, Nursing was a trend.

I never took up Nursing because I want to go abroad and worked my ass off, for "practicality sake"  and earn lots of $$$ or any big currencies, not because it was a trend. I don't know if my parents forced me to but that's what I felt at that time. I cried in front of them because I REALLY NEVER LIKED NURSING FOR CHRIST' SAKE! I took this up to follow "their dreams" for me (or lem'me say I'm traveling the path of suicide).

When I had my first year in college as a Nursing student, I had a plan in my mind that I will flunk all the subjects related to Nursing to convey the message to my parents that forcing NURSING ON ME WAS INDEED A BAD IDEA (I don't know why I've written this in ALL CAPS, am I that harsh?) I'm not born to be a rebel daughter but I never do the evil plan that I conceived in my evil subconscious mind; that is to flunk all the subjects so that I can only get what I desired most (actually, my only dream when I was in HS was to graduate in any course as long as I'm a college graduate or took up courses that I desire like Architecture, MassCom, or Fine Arts that is related to my talent :D ).

Since I was born in an average family and I think that I do have a "mature" rationalization regarding to what I see and felt in reality, I never did that evil plan. I know my dad worked his ass off to support our education and our family's basic necessities. I am not like other big kids who loves to party all night long, indulge in drinking sessions, tripping up for sex until they didn't know they impregnate women or got their-selves pregnant (FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I MAY HAVE A PLAN TO REBEL AGAINST MY PARENTS FOR BEING STRICT BUT NEVER IT OCCURRED IN MY DEAR MIND TO DO ALL THESE STUFF!)  I don't wanna brag but I'm not like others who never considered the hardship of their parents. I may not be a show-off kid to my parents regarding that "I LOVE THEM" but deep inside I really do...it's just that I'm shy to show it off. (oh, so cheesy of me. duh!)

When I finished the entire Nursing course, I said to them that THIS IS IT! Well, actually it was not because I have another year to prepare for the licensure examination. Preparing for the exam was entirely keeping in mind that I'll just go with the flow but also pondering on to FOCUS. I daydreamed that "WHAT IF I WILL TOP THE BOARD?" whoa! I don't know that this dream reflects an exaggeration but I really dreamed of becoming one. I've posted notes on the walls of my room, writing my name with the R.N. after my surname, my "what-if's-being one of the topnotchers" like designing my own tarpaulin and being honored by my alma mater (harhar :D), jotting my "what-to-do's" after I passed the board like having trainings, treat myself to adventure, and lots! It's free to dream on the possibility, right? A day before the examination, I had a hard time sleeping that I cried the night before. I cried out all my worries and fears. I don't think that I'm being a paranoid but after the crying session I felt so good. So, during the 2 days examination, though honestly I'm really nervous, I just kept on saying to Jesus "Lord, will you please make it blink in shimmering and glowing light the right answer after I closed my eyes?" or in our language "Lord, pakiblink sa tinuod na answer ha paghuman nako ug piyong sa akong mga mata." I laughed at myself because it was indeed an odd idea for me doing that during the examination. :D

After the said examination on the second day, I felt so good like I'm in a cloud nine...NO WORRIES AT ALL! Me and my friends ran into each other and we talked about the questions and answers regarding that breath-taking exam. And when December and January comes (CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR) when the clock striked 12 am, like when I was still a kid, I jumped and I shouted at the top of my lungs the phrases: "MARIA JOHANNA R. CRAVE, R.N. BOARD PASSER-TOPNOTCHER!" Not bad, right?

THE VERDICT-jan jararan!!!

Morning of January 31, 2010, I joined my 2 friends to attend a seminar. After the seminar we had our bonding moments. The 3 of us discussed about when will the exam results be released and since neither of us know when it will be, we jokingly discussed that if we don't pass the exam, together we will enroll into another review center.

Night about 11:30 pm (Sunday), I was praying the rosary and it was the Glorious Mystery I recited. I never expected that in that solemn moment, I jolted back in my bed because my cellphone suddenly rang, but since I'm praying, I never reached and looked at my phone. When I'm about to finish my prayer, suddenly I felt a big thump in my heart and I was tachycardic then. I felt very uneasy for no reasons, thereafter, I find myself crying already and talking to God regarding my fears with regards to the board exam result. It took me 30 minutes to release the tension I have. Thereafter, I've received about 6 messages from my friends and classmates congratulating me for passing the board. Of course my first reaction was..."is this for real or a joke". Since I don't have no load to reply and the stores around our neighborhood are already closed, my tension rises because I don't know what to feel or say. Since everybody in our house was so sound asleep at that time, I sneaked out of the house and called a taxi to go to an internet cafe. After arriving I searched my name on the net but loading the appropriate site was slow at that time. Therefore, I opened my Facebook and on my wall posted were CONGRATULATIONS MESSAGES from friends, relatives, and classmates for the victory I gained from all the blood, sweat and tears I poured for the past 5 years!!! Imagine 5 years dude! 5 years of experiencing pain in the ass like waking up early for classes and duties, seminars and projects and etcetera yet still harvested the sweetest zenith of victory!

After 1 hour of FB chating with friends, I headed home and I tell you, I chit-chatted with the taxi driver I called and shared with him my triumph. Hehe, then he congratulated me and even slashed off 1o pesos of my fare since he doesn’t have a change for my 200 peso bill I paid. Thanks manong driver! And I posted at the front wall facing my parents’ room the printed result of the exam with matching letter:

” DEAR MOMMY AND DADDY,Thanks for the Prayer, Love and Support. See? I MADE IT!P.S. DAD, Thanks for that senseless joke, but it proved you wrong! harhar! “

With all the ups and downs in my life, I don’t wanna conclude yet what God has offered me. I’m still considered as a neophyte in this field that I’m in and still honing my skills for me to even more be productive in my career. They say that “ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL”, but my journey as a nurse is yet to commenced. Ciao and Kudos!